Now, with Justin, unlike my previous relationships I was able to say that I could definitely see myself spending my entire life with him happily, we have all the tools two could need to learn, grow, love and thrive on life together. Still, when he brought it up, I wanted time to think, and talk on it, which we did through hours of talking, questions, doubts, worries, and more questions, we re-evaluated and dug into the deepest parts of each other before making a decision. Finally after several weeks of this, we decided that that was what we wanted, to take the oath to support and love each other forever, officially and legally on paper. With Justin going into the Air Force, he realized that being legally married would help us tremendously with us starting our lives together, and I agreed, even though it was sooner than either of us thought, it made the most sense, and it was what we wanted. So, to my surprise I accepted a marriage proposal at 19 years of age, something that would have been a laughable thought just a year ago. Now fast forward several weeks (to the extremely coincidental incident that furthers my belief that all of this was meant to be) to when I saw the two pink stripes on my pregnancy test, every emotion possible ran through me, at first I actually laughed out loud, because OBVIOUSLY this wasn't real, and this was some huge joke. Of course I was also freaking out, and thought "hey! maybe that one was expired! a dud!" so I tried another, and got the same results. I had that weird lost in limbo feeling, like this couldn't be real life, and I couldn't actually be pregnant. But I reminded myself of all the tough times and crappy situations I've been through before, and that after all that that this was nothing I couldn't be strong, take responsibility for, and handle to the best of my abilities. When I finally told Justin, I'll never forget his face, and his reaction, at first he thought I was playing a joke on him, but when I pulled out the tests his whole face lit up, and he grinned from ear to ear, "really?! really?!" he said, he was absolutely thrilled, excited and loving about the entire situation, which took me by surprise, but my fears and feeling of certain doom around the subject just melted away. He told me not to worry, that he would do everything and anything to take care of us, and he reminded me not to look at it negatively as a burden or stress out, because everything would be fine and that it was a blessing. As time went on I grew more and more excited about my pregnancy, to the point it's at today, I am completely in love with this baby inside me, I don't have any fears of being a mother (that could be because of the 16 years experience handling and raising babies and kids) and I wouldn't go back and change it for anything, this is the path my life took, and it was meant to be. I am so happy, and so grateful for all I have, and that baby Reau is healthy thriving. I've learned more about myself, love, and life in general through this past year than I ever have before, I'm not worried about not having "fun" and missing out on my young years, because I'm missing out on nothing. If there's anyone I know I can have fun, and go on crazy adventures, and explore the world with, it's Justin. Having Reau is a whole new exciting chapter to the adventures we'll have together, and fills me up to the point of bursting with love and excitement. The way we are, we'll always be young even when we're old, for once I'm so glad that things didn't go as I had planned. (: September 22 is when we first started dating, and Reau's due date is in April, on the 22nd!! I think that's so cute! haha
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| Reau Liam Potter - photo at 16 weeks - EDD 4/22/14 <3 |
