My original due date was 4/22/14, and I had fully convinced myself that since this was my first baby I would go past my due date, but my boy had different plans. I woke up too use the bathroom around 4:40 a.m. on the 15th of April. On the way to the bathroom I felt a small warm gush of my water breaking, there were a few more of these before I called in my dad (who I was staying with at the time) and asked what I should do, he sent me back to bed telling me "If you're going into labor soon, you're going to need as much rest as you can get" my 39 week Dr's appointment was just a few hours away scheduled for that afternoon, so he told me to just wait for the check up, (several hours later I would be so grateful my dad sent me back to bed!). I fell asleep holding my belly and cherishing what I knew was only a short amount of time I would still have him this close to me and be able to feel his kicks and nudges from inside. On the car ride to my doctors office I was a little nervous, contractions hadn't started yet, only mild menstrual like cramps, and I knew that as soon as he learned my water broke he would send me off right away and induce me, and I had my heart set on an unmedicated natural birth, but knowing how induction with pitocin makes contractions WAY worse, I was a little worried I might not be able to handle it. Sure enough, he checked me and I was 4 cm dilated and 70% effaced, he sent me straight to the hospital where they started the pitocin drip around 4:00 p.m. They had me strictly on the bed, no moving around, since my sack was ruptured walking around could cause the umbilical cord to fall out and become constricted. This was another jab at my birth plan since walking around and changing positions was one of the ways I had planned on dealing with the pain. Again making me a little more nervous. They asked me if I wanted an epidural and I declined, the new plan was just see how it goes and see how I handle it as the contractions progress. The pitocin worked fast, I was pretty uncomfortable after a few hours, then at some point I hit transition, my mom, dad, and grandma (nanny) were there as my support, (my husband wanted to be there but they would not allow him leave time to come down for the birth, he was able to come the following weekend though) and they told me it was when I went from low moans and an "ouchhhhh that hurts!", too a full on demonic roaring and "MOTHER F*CKER THIS HURTS" attitude. I had my mom and dad on either side of me, they held my hands through each contraction, and would wipe my back and face with a wet washcloth when I started sweating and over heating, and another washcloth to put in my mouth when I needed to bite down on something through the contractions. The pressure in my lower back from him moving down was intense, i kept trying to change positions to relieve the pressure but that wasn't going to happen, he'd have to come OUT for any of that to go away. At some point I threw off the robe and covers and labored in just my sports bra. I just tried to keep my jaw, and body as loose and relaxed as possible and find focal points to deal with the pain. I would close my eyes and rest between each contraction so i didn't wear out too fast. By 12:00 a.m. I was exhausted, I never did cry, but I started telling my mom "I can't do this anymore, I don't want to do this anymore" and "an epidural sounds nice right now" but they just told me "you're doing so good, you're almost there honey" and I knew I didn't ACTUALLY want an epidural, I just wanted the pain to stop and too see my baby boy. At some point I felt something different, it still felt like an 18 wheeler was driving over my body, but this time accompanied with the urge to PUSH. "I have to push!!!" I yelled, nurses rushed in, I was told "breath through them don't push yet!" Since I was just 9cm at the time, I was bewildered, how do I NOT push??? Do you people not understand how intense this urge is??? Because I sure didn't until just now! The only way I could resist pushing was by finding a focal point and breathing as fast and hard as I could through my mouth, I couldn't do the deep nose-mouth breathes they told me to do, it just didn't work for me. It felt like I was doing that forever, and my face was going numb from hyperventilating so much. They got me oxygen, and pretty soon I was crying out "I CANT hold it anymore! I HAVE to push!!" They checked me again, and suddenly bright lights were on, the bed was raising up, everyone was bustling around putting on gloves and masks an I heard "okay you're 10! You're ready to go honey lets have this baby!" I felt delirious, "wait, what?" I said "it's almost over, he's almost here" my mom said, but it still didn't quiet register in my brain as reality. Then they told me to push. After all the laboring, that was the most relieving sensation, but at first I wasn't sure how hard to push and I couldn't hold it very long, the hyperventilating from earlier made it difficult for me to really get a good breath and bear down. I was pushing forever, and I was beyond exhausted, but finally, through the mirror they set up for me at the end of the bed I caught the smallest glimpse of his head, and when I took a break he slide back up disappearing. This frustrated me, I need to see my baby. He's right there. It was all up to me how fast I get him out, so this new found inspiration and frustration fueled me, and I bore down with all my might, many several pushes later, I finally got his head just a couple pushes from being out, in between pushes I felt his head full of hair and my heart jumped, my baby boy was so close!!! The last pushes I did were intense, and I felt the ring of fire, but more like a ring of blazing hot electric knives going haywire on my lady parts. It made me take a quick pause in my pushing, catching me by surprise I yelled "ow! OW! That HURTS!!!" My mom and dad told me "keep going!!" So I did, and out came his head! The umbilical cord was tightly wrapped twice around his neck, so my doctor had to clamp it and cut it in order to get it off. One more push and his 6lbs 4oz 19in little body slid out and they placed him on my belly right away. Suddenly nothing else mattered, I had 4th degree tearing and I was being stitched up for about an hour, my butt felt like it was inside out and my body felt like I had run a marathon, then jumped out of a 2 story building. But it was all background noise, because I finally has my boy and he was absolute perfection and I fell in love all over again. Reau Liam Potter was born 4/16/14, at 1:35 a.m. and I'm SO glad I didn't cave into an epidural, I was so exhausted, and I wasn't stretching for him to come through and pushing was already difficult, if I couldn't feel anything down there there's no way I could have gotten him out on my own, meaning most likely a c-section would have had to have happened, and then my alert baby boy would have been groggy from the effects of the epi. The pitocin was a b*tch, but it IS possible to be induced and still have a natural birth. Reau is doing great, he's healthy and the most calm smiley baby I've ever seen, he looks so much like his daddy, I'm so in love. <3
(Since this is public, I water mark photos of him so creepy strangers don't use his pictures as their own).
